strange dream

I woke up this morning slightly shaken but also confused. The dream I had was so vivid and it was something I’m quite sure I haven’t dreamt of before. It involved a mouse and some weird science.

From what I can recall, the dream took place at my house. I saw one of those glue mouse traps on the kitchen floor and while I was conversing with some guy, I can’t remember who it was, a tiny mouse walks onto the trap. Instead of throwing out the trap like one would normally do, we just left it there. A short time after I look back at the trap and the mouse is gone! I didn’t even have to look around the kitchen to see where it went because something really disturbing caught my eye. The mouse turned into an elephant. It wasn’t a full grown elephant, it was like an elephant-toddler hybrid. I imagine this being like the second stage after a Pokemon evolves, just awkward until it reaches it’s final form. The elephant child wasn’t entirely scary but it just left me feeling uncomfortable. It didn’t make any noises but followed me around my house. I knew I had to get rid of this elephant, so I did what I usually do when looking for answers… Internet searches! I found a couple animal hospitals in my city and I frantically began driving around to find some help. The first animal hospital I went to had a huge sign above the reception desk that read “We are currently out of Elephant Syska. Sorry for the inconvenience.” Side note: I have no idea why I dreamt up the word syska and made that the name of the medicine/poison. The second animal hospital actually had what I needed. I was instructed to crush up the pills and mix it into food for the elephant. This needed to be done twice in order for the elephant to be put down. Once I got home I immediately started mixing the crushed pills with some food, the food turned this really bright blue color. It was a glowing blue. After I fed the elephant twice, I sat at home just waiting for something to happen. The next day rolls around and I wake up to no elephant in my house. I search all over and can’t find it. Now this was strange, how did an elephant child thing just disappear? It’s not like I could misplace something like that. Well in the kitchen I see that glue trap I never threw out and there’s a tiny mouse stuck to it again, this time it’s dead. Within my dream I even thought I was dreaming and that’s the last thing I remember before waking up.

That dream is still puzzling to me now, hence why I’m even writing about it. I know this dream must have some kind of meaning behind it. After a quick search I read a few different takes on dreaming about mice and they mostly revolved around anxiety. Like the mouse represents something bothering me in my life, whether it be my unhappiness with a certain situation I’m in, an upcoming event that I’m worried about, or just something I really want to change but haven’t yet. What I’m trying to make sense of is the whole mouse evolving into an elephant of sorts. Could that mean my anxiety about something is growing? I found a way to get rid of the elephant, so I guess that could be interpreted as me taking charge and knocking down those worries. At the same time I didn’t really feel scared of the elephant child, it was certainly uncomfortable to have around, so I handled it. Maybe I’m reading into this dream a little too much and it could just be some strange story with no meaning.

Has anyone ever had a strange dream that they can clearly recall like this? I want to know!

oh no.

it feels like forever since i’ve posted anything. feels like i haven’t had a chance to even think clearly lately. i guess it’s easier tweeting nonsense throughout the day than actually stringing together words that have meaning. nevertheless i should keep up with posting on here more frequently. until tomorrow beautiful people!

fifty shades of mkay!

Wednesday night, I watched Fifty Shades of Grey. I know there has been tons of buzz over this film and the book series over its “controversial” story line which includes topics that touch upon the BDSM world. It is understandable why a large population is outraged by the series because when something like BDSM relationships are labeled as “taboo” in our society, this film and book series is going against that grain. What people should keep in mind is that the relationship depicted in this series may not necessarily hold true in actual BDSM relationships, this is some rushed version that excludes many details. Nevertheless, I personally enjoyed this film.


Jamie Dornan as the handsome, young, and megalomaniacal billionaire, Christian Grey, was a great choice. He was not the actor I pictured when I first heard the series was going to have a movie adaptation, but he played the role well. Doesn’t hurt that the man is handsome. Throughout the film he was entirely convincing, his movements, expressions, and general presence sold me on believing his character. Dakota Johnson also played a pretty convincing Anastasia Steele. I pictured Anastasia as someone who looked a tad younger than Dakota, but it worked for me. The other actors cast were either huge hits in my opinion or extreme misses.

The overall plot of the film followed along with the first book in the trilogy, but as expected there was a good amount of the plot not included or just completely altered. I’ve read plenty of books that have had film adaptations to follow and it’s hard to compare the two, especially when you create this image in your mind of how things would play out visually. So, I’m fine with the film as a whole, but it could have used some additions to the plot that were included in the book.

For example, Anastasia doesn’t have a job after graduation in the film or at least I don’t recall there being any mention of her attending a job interview at a publishing company. In the book series, her having a job opens up a new set of problems that carries on into the other books. This makes me wonder if she’s suddenly going to have a job in the next film or will this story line disappear. No creepy boss, Jack, with loads of issues and some misplaced hate for Christian? No unnecessary email conversations at work between Christian and Anastasia when she clearly has a phone? Her not having a job made it feel like all she did was spend every waking moment with Christian… so I guess I can see why someone could misconstrue the nature of their relationship. Hopefully this is added into the next film, if there is one.

Let’s move onto the timeline of events in the film. It was slightly hard for me to keep up with what was going on since certain scenes just didn’t add up. From what I recall it looked like Anastasia and Kate moved to Seattle before graduating, Ana arrives home from being with Christian and a tech guy is already setting up her laptop for her, her bug was already gone when she was gifted the Audi, and that’s only what I can think of at the moment. I’m sure there were plenty more scenes that didn’t follow along with the book’s timeline. If I hadn’t read the series I wouldn’t even care that these events occurred in some alternate order, but having read them it seems like the changes were unnecessary. It felt like many of the scenes were rushed, as if they were trying to cram anything they could just to get by. I can obviously fill in the blanks, but if someone hasn’t read the series they might be cheated out of some scenes that make sense of the bigger events that follow. Then again, I’m wicked picky when it comes to continuity.

ugh. Speaking of continuity, whomever was the script supervisor needs to get it together. I’m big on detail and if I can notice some error in continuity within a scene the first time viewing it, that’s just not okay.

I’m definitely picking this film apart and could do so even more but I still don’t dislike it. I enjoy the plot, the main characters were incredible, the scoring of the film was perfect, the visuals were captivating, and I see room for major improvement for any following films. I’m sure that I will watch the movie again and I think that others shouldn’t be so quick to write this movie off just because the subject may not be entirely favorable. I don’t know how many of my friends have said that they expected it to be one long soft core porn, people were definitely exaggerating and hyped up this film to be something it definitely wasn’t. But hey, if this isn’t your cup of tea, it’s okay.

If you did watch the movie, I’d love to know your opinion on it, so feel free to leave a comment.

Happy Valentine’s Day beautiful human beings of the internet! ❤️


since i’m usually scrolling through tumblr all day, i come across these survey like questions and it brings me back to those myspace days. enjoy these random questions and answers!

1. What is a thought that often keeps you from falling asleep?
– basically worrying if i made the best use of my day
2. Who is on your mind the most?
– this is hard, i guess myself
3. Do you have any scars? If so, how did you get them?
– i have plenty, there’s one from me falling off the top of my bunk bed in my sleep and breaking a lamp. oh that definitely hurt.
4. If you could pick one song to describe who you are, what song would it be?
– today this song would be “human” by christina perri
5. Have you ever felt like just packing up your things and leaving everything behind?
– oh i feel like this every other day, some days it’s a lot stronger than others
6. Name 3 of your favorite books. Now if you could live in the world of one of those, which one would you choose?
– i love reading! i have more than 3 favorites, but let’s use some recent things i’ve read “a tale of two cities,” “bass ackwards and belly up,” and “actors anonymous.” i’d most likely choose some story in actors anonymous.
7. If you could go out on a date with your celebrity crush, what would you want to do?
– go to a poetry reading or an art gallery because i’d be really interested in the conversation that would arise
8. If you had to have your memory reset but you could choose only one memory to keep with you, what memory would you choose?
– the first time I flew out of the country and saw my dad waiting for me at the airport
9. You run into yourself from the future, they offer to tell you what you have to look forward to, would you choose to know what your future is like?
– of course, it would most likely change after i’m told, but i wouldn’t let an opportunity like that pass
10. You’re a survivor in the zombie apocalypse, what is your weapon of choice?
– a shovel?
11. Are you currently hiding something from someone?
– nope
12. What is one thing you don’t want your parents to know about you?
– i’m not hiding anything from them
13. What are some sensitive subjects for you?
– eating, my parents, and depression
14. Was 2014 a good year for you?
– there were really great moments and a good share of moments I could have done without
15. If you could change any moment in 2014, would you?
– yes
16. What is the worst nightmare you’ve had?
– i can only remember my childhood nightmares, like giant barneys trying to kidnap me
17. Where do you feel the most comfortable?
– in my bed
18. A night at home or a night out?
– night at home! yay it’s a friday night.
19. What is the thing you fear the most?
– death? or falling to my death?
20. If you were a fictional character who would you be?
– helga from hey arnold!
21. Have you ever felt forgotten?
– who hasn’t?
22. How do you handle conflict?
– depends on the situation
23. Who and/or what makes you the happiest?
– being around my close friends doing absolutely nothing
24. If you could design the perfect day, what would it be like?
– a trip to the bookstore, take out, and binge watching tv shows with friends
25. Do you have any hobbies?
– is sleeping a hobby? probably doodling and reading
26. You can have only one trip in a time machine, would you travel to the future or the past?
– the future!
27. List one of your quirks
– mostly write only in lowercase letters
28. Have you ever had a near-death experience?
– i have had two
29. What is the strangest thing you’ve experienced?
– one of the strangest things was having someone whisper rap lyrics in my ear, why was this person standing so close to me? why did they think anyone would enjoy that?
30. When was the last time you laughed so hard you cried?
– yesterday at target

since it’s the weekend i’ll finally have some down time to write some more post. i’ve been slacking lately! it would be awesome if any of you wanted to answer these questions as well! 😊


it’s been a while since i last wrote something here. lately it feels like i’m so immersed in my job and when i’m not doing something work related i’m trying to sleep or work on this whole being healthy thing.

anyways, i just wanted to write something shorter today. a couple of days ago i was filming a short video to just say thanks to one of my best friends and i feel like it’s something i should do more often.

thank you to anyone who has decided to read anything i post, no matter how much i tend to ramble. thank you for taking some of the precious time you are given on earth to contribute your ideas and read those of others.

thank you for being you, whomever you are.