seven.

some days i feel like a robot. today is one of those days. i wish i meant a robot that was interesting and could do all these extraordinary things but no. i mean a robot that isn’t capable of emotion and is just going through the motions.

this feeling is something i have become really familiar with. but calling it a feeling is almost ironic since i just feel numb during these moments. it’s been a while since i’ve seriously sunk deep into this depressing state and yet it’s something that hasn’t left me.

there isn’t any set reason as to why i feel this way so when someone asks, “what’s wrong?” i get frustrated because i can’t give a solid answer. in these times is where i start to shut people out and i’m hoping that those around me try to understand that i just need some time. time to myself, time to just take a break and breathe, and time to reflect. who knows if this is something that will be a distant memory years from now? months? or days? this is something i’ll work on and writing things out is definitely a step towards what I want for myself. happiness.

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from amy and roger’s epic detour by morgan matson (found this picture on tumblr)

five

“don’t judge everyone else by your limited experience”
-carl sagan

today, i just wanted to leave this quote since it is something that i know i should keep in mind daily. being so connected to social media we all get to share our opinions freely and sometimes it seems like some forget that we all lead different lives. spreading negativity on any social platform is quite unnecessary, especially when there is an overwhelming sense of ignorance behind comments.

i believe self awareness is crucial when it comes to becoming socially aware. if you can recognize aspects about yourself as an individual in an environment, you can then expand on that to understand the perspective of others. it’s great to be curious, now it’s just the matter of educating yourself.

one.

today we say hello to a new year. in doing so many create a list of resolutions for this new year. personally, i do not make resolutions because i know that the chances of me sticking to any of them are quite slim. i feel as though there is this unspoken pressure that comes with creating “resolutions.” if anything there are general things i would love to work on throughout the year which have been ongoing from previous years.

let’s call it a mission. my mission is to discover happiness within myself.

i was extremely depressed for months on end in 2014 and i found myself in a really low place. of course i know that it being a new year does not magically mean that a switch is flipped and i’ll suddenly be happy. this is something only I can work on and it’s not an “easy fix.” that being said there are several things i will need to do in order to fulfill this ultimate mission of sorts, not only in 2015, but for as long as i am given on this planet.

one step i’m taking towards understanding how I can discover my personal happiness is by writing down my thoughts daily. whether it be on this platform or in my physical journals, i want to be able to organize what’s running through my head.

happy new year and hello 2015.

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